So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
