I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
