census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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