can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
