I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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