pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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