New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
