im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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