dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
