Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I could make wine with my vomit
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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