K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
