IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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