my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
