I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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