He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
