His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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