yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
