What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
