I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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