these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
