Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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