So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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