The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
