My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
