I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
