I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
