would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
