I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
