Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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