i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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