I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
