Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
