just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
