I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
