...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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