HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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