We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
