wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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