I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
