hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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