We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
