And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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