Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
