how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
