is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
