My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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