it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
