Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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