singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
