we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
