My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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