do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
