I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
His nipple licking is glorious
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